It’s so easy to make in your own backyard, if the average idiot can do it with waste oil, why can’t these bigger companies figure something out that won’t kill off what’s left of the rain forest?

It works like this, first you tear out your vehicle’s current set of seats and replace with the patented “Ptomaine hi-backs” as I call them. The cycle begins with human dung being dropped (you can even do this while driving, ask friends to show their solidarity by taking your vehicle for a spin after coffee) into a processing engine whereby human waste and gases are trapped in a one-way pipe that continues to refine and concentrate all of the collected elements into a highly volitile form.

Through various means of accelerated processing the gases soon become explosive enough to be channeled into your engine and viola, you’re driving a porta-potty that thumbs it’s stinky nose at double-hulled tankers from Valdez. The more you eat the more fuel you produce, bottom line (so to speak) everyone in the US becomes their own closed-cycle refinery; you could almost say you’d be sitting on a gold mine.

Burritos and certain soy-based meat substitutes have proven to be the fastest traveling meals through the human digestive tract so if your tank is starting to get low on fuel then belly up and sup cause if you don’t start passin’ then you ain’t a gassin’. I also plan to sell a specially formulated laxative to expedite matters as this will offer a gentle nudge for the more spontaneous drivers among us.

The exhaust won’t be of French fries or clam strips, but it will give pause to those in the Middle East whose monopoly on our addiction to fossil fuels has gone on too long.

Just in case you’re interested in learning more about this project, the company name is Ptomaine Upstarts or P.U. Industries.

I thank you for your time and if you could, please pass me a second helping of that cauliflower…

Enrico strikes again!

Aloha Jim and Rene – Eric.

Video: Michael Whitman on Veggie Oil vs. Biodiesel