Am I Nuts? My Life in Corporate America Begins Sunday

My last week of freedom came and went too quickly. On Sunday, I start working my fulltime shift at The Great Satan.

Last Monday I attended a day-long orientation with 100 other wanna- be temp workers. It’s been 17 years since I had to do “teambuilding” and mindless repetition of training exercises to impress some manager.

Back in college, I worked for a regional office of Allstate Insurance with 1,000 other worker bees. Being subjected to the rigid structure and narrowly defined roles of corporate America was my impetus for finishing college. I never, ever wanted to be a cog in that machine.

At the orientation, we got a talk by the chief of Satan’s security at the warehouse. He discussed things like employee theft, and how to be on guard for scary threats and potential violence by co-workers. That was when I realized that it had been a long time since I worked for a huge company, with so many stressed out and unpredictable workers. The office shooting in Orlando today just drove home the point. At my last job in corporate America (circa 1991), workplace violence just wasn’t on the radar.

I really like being self-employed and working with just my hubby. Not only am I immune from a lot of things like flu viruses, but crazy people too, at least while I’m working.

Today I was in HellMart, and overheard Christmas carols on the P.A. Seems that our society is bypassing Thanksgiving altogether this year and heading straight for the big one. I’m conflicted about this. On the one hand, I really hate holiday consumerism and plan on banning the Christmas orgy once again.

On the other, I really, really want you guys to buy a lot of stuff from Satan, so I can have more overtime!

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11 Responses to “Am I Nuts? My Life in Corporate America Begins Sunday”

  1. UR not nutz Rene, not at all. I’m nutz, I’m the one doin it day-in day-out year after year…

    UR just being practical and making some good cash to help carry you guyz another year. Meanwhile Jim says home playin mr. Mom 4 Wyatt…

    πŸ˜‰
    Kiddin, Jimminy.

    //AKC.

  2. COOL … do you get a cubicle? Do you get to prairie-dog from your cubicle with the rest of the workers to share office gossip?

  3. I totally agree with you about only have to work side by side with your hubby… Jeremy and I are so lucky and happy that we work so well together… not need to quality control with other employees and risk of virus, crazy people and such, exactly like you’ve said.

    We don’t really celebrate any holidays except our birthday/anniversary (all bundled up in the month of October). But, we do buy frequently on Amazon (we never really bought anything for people during Christmas and/or any other holidays) for ourselves, and we told others to not buy things for us either. However, we will be sure to link from your site to make our future purchases from now on~

    I hope you will have a good time working at Amazon and wish that we will see you sometime in 2010! (^_^)

    PS: Packing up to head to Atlanta today~

  4. I fully understand today’s Blog….But i do wish you guys a Merry Christmas!! πŸ˜‰ C’mon..Lets sing it..we wish you a ….lol

  5. Yep, working in corporate america can suck! But…at least two month of corporate-venturing will bring you more money so you can again thumb your nose at corporate america for a while longer. Hopefully you will be working with 99 other workampers, who just like yourself, use amazon as a stepping-stone towards another years adventuring in lieu of other psychotic ventures! Make new friends, share stories, run with your paychecks, then get the heck out of dodge πŸ˜‰

  6. Embrace it! Learn, enjoy, contribute and put some $$ away. A person could do worse than work for a few weeks at Amazon. Hopefully each day will have its own set of new experiences you can look back on and smile about.

    I am with you — what happened to Thanksgiving?

  7. pss yes…..you’re nuts!!!

  8. Give me the Christams “orgy” all year long. I love the season. Thanksgiving is over-rated anyway. It’s all fun and games until SOMEONE HAS TO DO THE DISHES! And those of us who don’t cook allllways have to do the dishes.

    I have (and will continue to) consumed Christmas present items at Amazon for years. I will support your corporate venture even though you start work on Sunday…….The Lord’s day

    I really miss you. COME HOME

    Ps I am still telling people you are working at e bay!

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